I wrote this for a composition class. It's hardly perfect because I completely changed my article after this but I figure a few of you might enjoy this. So here is the article:
Many companies and families were shocked this week as Zynga announced its plans for the new Farmville. Mark Pincus, owner of Zynga, has called reactions “startling” and “unexpected” saying that the new policy has little impact on the game environment and simply presents a better way for Zynga to finance its company.
This new policy, to be enacted on January 15th, allows users to purchase their very own virtual prostitutes. This new item, says Zynga president Mark Pincus, is intended to allow users to better understand what farm life is really like. “We are not doing this for the money,” reports one Zynga employee, “but to allow our users to increase their gaming experience.”
Many families have begun to withdraw their support for the game and have instead moved to more appropriate games such as My Pet Fish or Mafia Wars saying that virtual prostitutes are unethical and a complete waste of useful time. Many worried parents have begun to look at Zynga in a different light and some have begun to question the motives of the company. These questions have caused a new Facebook group to arise: Parents against Zynga. This group aims to “inform users” of the “unethical and shady software” produced by Zynga. The group, so far, has had mixed results. “People just don’t want to listen to us,” says group founder Jane Smith, worried that her groups three members may not be getting their point across.
Many major companies have begun to step in where the Parents against Zynga have failed. Many companies have stepped up including Apple, Microsoft, Google and MySpace. Tom Anderson, co-creator of MySpace, voiced his opinion in a press conference earlier this week saying, “I have been saying from the start that sites such as Facebook do nothing but encourage the exploitation of their users.” Other notable company founders have stepped up beside Tom and have expressed their dislike of the new Farmville including Steve Jobs who reported that company work was hitting a new high as employees could no longer spend their time on Farmville all day. Steve Job optimistically added, during a short interview earlier this week, that “with the rise in employee efficiency we have been able to increase work on the production of the IPhone White and plan on releasing it within a few days from now.”
Not everyone is jumping on the bandwagon however as many prostitutes jump to defend the new Farmville. “All they want to do, like, is, like, make the game all, like, real and, like, fun and stuff,” ex-prostitute Nicole Ramher said about the new game. Other prostitutes are jumping to defend her as well such as Jane Inme who said during an exclusive interview at the corner of 7th and Pennsylvania Avenue that she was proud that America was making such a great move forward and that the future had never looked so much like world peace.
Zynga employees are defending the prostitutes and their new Farmville by claiming that the new Farmville represents a realistic depiction of life on a farm. “We understand that some people may not be all for this kind of thing,” says lead programmer Dale, “but we are trying to make a game that shows you what life is really like and Farmville 2 will be just that.” When asked to address the dislike of the game Zynga regretfully had to decline apologizing for all the dislike that the game had created from such a simple addition.
As the game is prepared for release Zynga has announced that no changes would be made to the Farm Simulator and that the planned release would be released without change. Before departing on a Yacht trip Mark Pincus did grant us with one final statement saying, “I hope that Farmville’s new system will not discourage our audience from continuing to play the game.” Whether it will or not however is yet to be decided but the change in accounts is sure to be dramatic as the January 15th date nears.
Note: This is not true...
